Tesco Cream Slices

The key is being able to stop the cream from bursting out of the sides. Of the cake, of course.

Few are capable of harnessing this extreme power. Even the likes of Gordon Ramsay and Mary Berry and their other culinary chums would struggle. Probably (we don’t have particularly close relationships). Would it not make for viewing more entertaining if MasterChef was replaced with a simple game of cream cake eating? Someone annoying like Joe Lycett as the host, unquestionably.

Naturally, I failed the challenge; so a thorough hovering up exercise was required.

But never complain about having too much cream in a freshly made cake – it only ever serves as magnificence. The issue arises when there is too little cream, which is commonly the case in supermarket eclairs where you’re just left eating a soggy bread base. The plastic packaging would literally be more enjoyable.

Each box contains two vanilla slice and they are usually always on offer as two boxes for £2 (I double-teamed with a box of custard slices in this instance, which, because custard is more solidified than cream, were easier to eat – impress Tinder with that top tip).

There is (as you can see) plenty of cream and just the right amount of jam to add a special taste without dripping a sticky mess everywhere. The icing on top is similarly well spread with a thickness that permits a slight vanilla taste and perfectly removes the risk of tucking into bare pasty.

Eating one at a time is plenty (unless you yearn for an emergency hospital admission), so the value for money is good. There is a great blend of pastry, cream, jam and vanilla that really does satisfy a craving for a sweet delight.

However, they are messy things to eat and mess means wastage – which is not good for a treat (although perfectly acceptable for, say, carrots.) They are also a pretty unimaginative blend, so don’t provide any “wow” factor you may be desiring.

On that basis: 4* out of 5.

By JAMES LEWIS
Wanderer, wonderer and editor of the Chocolate Dissection blog (which will ideally melt hearts rather than brains). Reliable with sarcasm, less so with a scalpel. Twitter: @IdeasJimbound


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