Maryland Cookies Chocolate Cookie Bar

“Great for snacking!” proclaims the packaging on Maryland Cookies’ Chocolate Cookie Bar.

Well, judging by the size, it’s certainly unlikely to be used as a feast. Unless you’re an ant. The tiny chocolate bars are literally the same size as one of Maryland’s well-known cookies, albeit deadlier to seahorses with their more extensive plastic packaging.

But, hey! It’s worth a go right? Everyone loves Maryland cookies, so why wouldn’t they engulf their lives with a chocolate bar version, covering carpets with crumbs and fingers with melted chocolate?

Well, it depends on how the plan is executed. So, here’s my impression…

It’s already clear that the bars are small. Smaller even than the minute size of most chocolate bars. Almost as tiny as a footballer’s patience.

Its appearance is a bronzed, yellowy biscuit with miniature chocolate chips scattered throughout.

The chocolate pieces are only noticeable on very close inspection of the bar itself, because their impact on the taste certainly isn’t discernible. It was a difficult and complex search, very similar to trying to find an original joke on Twitter.

Otherwise, the taste is totally dominated by the biscuit because there is nothing to counter it. Unless you fancy eating it with the wrapping still attached.

However, a large redeeming factor is the fact that eight of the bars can be purchased for just one tenth of a £10 note. I believe that it’s literally impossible to work out what each individual bar would cost, but it’s definitely only a few pennies.

To conclude, the Maryland Cookies Chocolate Cookie Bar is a spectacularly boring creation, worse even than an episode of Emmerdale. However, food is food and it doesn’t come much cheaper than this. Really, that’s the only reason that prevents it from being a one star product.

2* (just) out of 5.

By JAMES LEWIS
Wanderer, wonderer and editor of the Chocolate Dissection blog (which will ideally melt hearts rather than brains). Reliable with sarcasm, less so with a scalpel. Twitter: @IdeasJimbound


Follow Chocolate Dissection on Twitter (@ChocDissection) and Instagram (chocolatedissection)


Return to Homepage.