Oreo Doughnuts

Remember the Oreo craze a few years ago? Chocolate biscuits with cream in the centre became more popular even than booze, drugs and the top ten books chart.

Quite how they reached such popularity I have no idea. They’ve always been cheap, I suppose. The contents of sugar and doubtless many chemicals probably went someway to encouraging addiction.

But the product itself has never to me inspired much interest. Or any at all really. Dark chocolate biscuit filed down to below the width of a standard piece of paper, partly filled with dazzling white cream (presumably using something as a frugal as pipette – which, by the way, I recalled the name of only by searching “science squeezy thing”) has never actually been my idea of thrilling excitement – even with the artistic patterns inscribed throughout.

In the relative banality of the chocolate world, perhaps Oreo’s decision to make doughnuts should automatically generate a glowing review. After all, there do not seem to be many high street outlets that flog variations of the hole-filled cake.

Oreo's doughnuts have small holes, which is good for the purpose of eating (better value for money), but possibly a negative point if you had other ideas in mind.

Two in a pack is just right for donuts in my opinion: less leaves you hungry; more gives you diabetes. I was less keen on the thick plastic packaging though, which probably takes longer to decompose than an entire aircraft carrier. Still, I suppose it keeps the flies off.

It also appeared to have the remarkable effect of keeping the donut bottoms almost not soggy (honourable, considering every donut I’ve ever eaten previously has been wallowing in wetness the size of the Pacific Ocean).

Each ‘nut was a hefty chunk of bread-ness layered with a traditionally thin quantity of white icing, but with a generous peppering of soft, miniature brownie pieces. The proclaimed filling of cream was technically true, but was not as exuberant or flowing as the description made it out to be.

I don’t know if anyone’s ever noticed this before, but donuts are rather doughy. I reckon that the donut diet is the way forward: one donut a day and that’s all the food you’ll ever need. Admittedly, healthy supplements may be required as well to stop the whole of civilisation being wiped out by malnutrition, but it’s a good start.

A hearty dose of doughy-ness was not omitted from Oreo’s design, however the chocolate segments made a hefty contribution to the taste, as did – rather surprisingly – the meagre contributions of icing and cream.

A wholly hole-less wholesomeness of 4* out of 5.

Review by JAMES LEWIS
Wanderer, wonderer and editor of the Chocolate Dissection blog (which will ideally melt hearts rather than brains). Reliable with sarcasm, less so with a scalpel. Twitter: @IdeasJimbound


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