A review of
Nestle’s gingerbread flavoured Matchmakers.
Apparently, January is the most depressing month of the
year; which is odd considering that everyone welcomes its arrival with fits of
ecstasy (or just grams if you’re in Glasgow).
Grams of Glasgow. Grans of Glasgow. Interesting how the
slightest change in the structure of a word can have such a profound effect on
its meaning.
If everybody hates January so much, why do we celebrate New Year’s Eve on 31st
December? Surely it would make far more sense to begin a new year in the middle
of June when spirits are already high (and being copiously consumed). If that
was the case, this year we’d be able to join our New Year’s celebration with
that of England winning the European football championship. Hysteria and
alcohol sales would be off the charts.
January's misery is doubly strange given how cheap
Christmas related products are in shops. Obviously, unrestrained consumerism is
more popular than life itself at the moment, so it should not come as too much
of a surprise to discover that companies massively overproduce the amount of
tinsel-covered crap that people will actually buy.
This means discounts – and that the wheel of want is able
to keep spinning.
Frankly, I was chuffed to smoke inhalation with my
bargain purchase: a box of gingerbread flavoured Matchmakers for 50p from Tesco.
Antiques Roadshow would be so proud.
The packaging unlocked like a box of matches, which was a
nice touch (simple pleasures please simple minds, so they say. Don’t you forget).
Inside was a scattering of the 10cm-or-so chocolate covered sticks, more than
plentiful for the cheap cost.
I enjoyed the gingerbread taste, too – it was tangy and
powerful, teamed with a team of crunches from the stick itself. Although
typically a Christmassy creation, gingerbread doesn’t seem to be commonplace
amongst the mass-produced sugars of the major manufacturers, so to have it
feature in such an impactful way was deeply satisfying.
Perhaps the ultimate definition of cheap and cheerful,
these gingerbread flavour Matchmakers were glory to behold. It’s just a shame
that they won’t be available for another ten months. So, best get stockpiling
for next Christmas right away! Or Brexit. Or nuclear war.
Review rating: don’t snatch – 4* out of 5.
Review by JAMES LEWIS
Wanderer, wonderer and editor of the Chocolate Dissection blog (which will ideally melt hearts rather than brains). Reliable with sarcasm, less so with a scalpel. Twitter:@IdeasJimbound
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