Round and Round Went the Great Big Wheel

A review of Fox’s Chocolatey Milk Chocolate Rounds.

A subject I have laboured on many times in the scribes of Chocolate Dissection is a lack of originality in the chocolate manufacturing industry.

Aside from being absolutely hypocritical on my part (tell me something I didn’t know), it’s an observation that has been proven true on many occasions.

I shall refrain from making a ‘takes the biscuit’ remark, but Fox’s seem to have excelled at this.

For “Chocolatey Milk Chocolate Rounds” surely wins the award of the most blindingly obvious product name of the century. That chocolate isn’t just milk and round, it’s also chocolatey. Inspiring stuff. I wonder if Fox’s write Donald Trump’s speeches.

Maybe it’s a good thing: honesty rather than bullshit. At least you know where you stand with chocolatey chocolate, unlike badly translated Chinese rip-offs sold on Amazon with a stupidly high postage price that then inevitably get lost somewhere deep in the sea.

Once I’d teared open the packet though, I realised that the description designed by an eight year-old was not technically true. For me and my increasingly autistic mind, something round must be perfectly circular; yet these biscuits had thin lines of indentation along the edges, making them more octagonal than anything else.

A small point, but an issue that I feel really puts into context perceived problems such as rampant bushfires and killer flu-like diseases.

The chocolate casing was incredibly chunky for biscuits of such a relatively small size, cracking desirably with each bite before slowly melting in the mouth and becoming thick and gooey. Such a comprehensive process allowed for the chocolate to be enjoyed much longer than would normally be anticipated.

The milk chocolate had a predictably creamy flavour, but one that was undoubtedly noticeable – as opposed to the evident cost-cutting exercises of some brands that would rather use less milk and reduce the quality of the product.

Light coloured biscuit was held within the chocolate, which crunched like any good biscuit should. If the biscuit had also been chocolate then the whole creation would likely have been too overpowering, but as it was the blend worked well, avoiding conflict between the two ingredients.

Quite what the hole in the middle of each biscuit was for though, I’m not sure. Children to get their fingers stuck in, perhaps? Or maybe that’s the money saving measure. There’s one in every packet.

I think that the best way to describe Fox’s Chocolatey Milk Chocolate Rounds would be as the Skoda of the chocolate world: cheaply luxurious. A more refined version of what Galaxy bars try to be, but not as ostentatious as Lindt.

Final review rating: a hole in one and more – 4* out of 5.

Review by JAMES LEWIS

Wanderer, wonderer and editor of the Chocolate Dissection blog (which will ideally melt hearts rather than brains). Reliable with sarcasm, less so with a scalpel. Twitter: @IdeasJimbound

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